-NULL-

Trying to quash this feeling

Trying to invalidate everything

Trying to fill this void

Trying to nullify my heart

This emptiness is hurting

You no longer occupy my...

*shaking head*

.

..

...

....

.....

:

:

:

© Sher™ 2011

After life. No, wait!

Have you ever wondered what the "light at the end of the tunnel" looks or rather feels like?
Well, I did.

I always wonder how my parents would react to a phone call, "Mam/Sir, your daughter... is dead."
How will they take it? How about my friends and relatives?
Will they cry and mourn? If so, how long?
Will I be deeply missed? Or just forgotten like when speckles of dust set adrift by the gentle breeze?
Where would my body go? Where would my ashes go?
Will I still be "awake" to "notice" things?
What is it like after.. life?

Where would my belongings go?
Will my mum decide to keep them as it is in my room? Or give them away or would she bury them along with me... six feet under?

What would happen if I had not gone through that surgery (almost) 8 years ago?
Will I succumb to death earlier? By 30? Like my orthopeadist adviced?
Would I have suffered more now without the spine correction?
If so, how bad?

I guess all of the above don’t matter anymore.

The most important question is, what would have happened if my mum did not enquire the local doctor about the hump on my back?

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No matter what the decision was, I am on this path, this journey.
My past determines and shapes my future.
I am content.
I am appreciating all the things that have happened (and not what WOULD have happened.)
I am looking at life with a positive outlook. It is easier said than done, of course.
And I can only plan as my fate is written in the stars.
Take a step back and look…

Maybe I'm Wrong